finally think i sorted it
after doing some research online
read pcv valves can cause this when there faulty.
so i tried changing it + the grommet
seems ok now underload - uphills on hot days or with aircon on
doesn't do it anymore, plug colour looks more healthy too
no longer frosty white with melted electrodes.
just wish they would have changed this $12 part when they replaced my main seal
when they did the clutch
or when they did timing belt when they had to replace other oil seals
all new seals gone already because of the faulty pcv sigh :/
now all have to be done again got big oil leaks