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Posted (edited)

Right well it's not often I'm home on a Saturday, but I flicked the telly on and Channel 9's The Car Show hosted by Glenn Ridge appeared and I began watching. Couldn't believe my eyes... Has anyone seen the Top Gear episode where Clarkson drives the Boxter convertible and the Merc convertible through the British army's training facility, noting how many times he gets "shot" by real-life snipers hiding around the course? It's a good segment and he punishes the cars so hard, sliding them and lighting up the rears. Well The Car Show attempted a SHAMELESS reproduction of this, it was a friggin joke, here's the scenario:

Driver: Young female blonde journalist whom I've never sighted before

Car: New Golf R32 fitted with laser sensors

Course: Some paintball centre with a 3.4km dirt road around a small mountain

Snipers: Bunch of nerds who work at the paintball centre with laser guns

Deary deary me, it was the single worst piece of motoring journalism I have ever witnessed, I was embarrassed to be a car enthusiast. She began driving, and I swear she didn't top 60km/hr nor change above 2nd gear, all you could hear was just the car revving at about 6000RPM all the way around the course as she took corner after corner at 40km/hr saying "Geez this exhaust is loud", and going through a few dirty puddles. Meanwhile, the nerds were in their cammo gear complete with dodgy war paint and bandanas, running up the mountain trying to shoot the car. It was so plainly obvious that the game didn't take place in real time, every corner she went around you heard her squeal because one of the nerds, strategically placed by the camera crew no-doubt, was shooting his little laser at her - it was as if they filmed every corner seperately and found a perfect place for the nerd to be hiding. When she reached the top of the mountain to capture the flag, somehow all of the nerds had beaten her there and all shot her at once. She squealed and they squealed and I p!ssed myself laughing saying OMG you are ghey...

So yeah, the end of the segment came, and her conclusion was that she liked the car, but wouldn't pay $55,000 for one - fair call I guess, that's Evo money, but she barely even drove the thing! Then it cut back to Glenn Ridge and their "Hot Hatch Temperature Gauge" appeared on screen. Possibly the gheyest part, Ridge says: "On the Hot Hatch Temperature Gauge, we rate the VW Golf R32 at 80 degrees..." WTF??? 80 degrees?? What measure is that? 80 degrees out of what? 100? Compared to what??? It was a deadset joke.

Moral of the story: do not watch this show.

Edited by Tayles
Posted

Great Review.

I haven't seen the show, and I don't think I will bother

Posted

lol do they still show it? oh the topgear version was F***ING HEKTIK i loved it.... lol laser skirmish... wat a dissapointment compared to real british SAS troops... budget budget budget


Posted

I saw it, the last season was actually pretty good because they had a segment in each episode where they tested out a 'real world' car (I think they called randoms off the Shannon's customer list actually) and made them do 1/4 mile and full circuit runs at Calder Park as a bit of a competition. There were things like old VW beetles, some Volvo that had been stripped and club race prepped, etc, it was pretty interesting. The rest of the show I worry about though... The Dutton Rally specials are worth catching though.

Posted

lmao... I've watched it before and it's like a TV version of the Drive liftout in the paper lol...

Top Gear rocks my socks :) :) :) ...

Posted

lmao Tayles... i saw it....

well, i was cleaning my fish tank at the time... but it kept me amused for a few minutes...

yeah, really, wtf was that about...

Posted
lmao... I've watched it before and it's like a TV version of the Drive liftout in the paper lol...

considering it's all the same Journos does that really surprise you?

Posted

Last week they did a comaprison between a Ford Territory turbo and a Porsche 911 to compare the 2 as Ford's ad suggests it eats sports cars. The comparison was so one sided it wasn't funny and the comaprison tests were ridiculous. Reverse park... the Ford has camera's and the bloke who drove the Porsche really cannot drive and ham it up badly. The bread and milk run to the shop was another and the reporter tool in the Territory went to the shop and chose to go down some small lane way that was basically cobblestones and the guy in the Porshce had to drive so slow cause it was so rough.(It might have been Parramatta RD LOL) Again another poor example. This one was the worst..... pick up some friends(4) so again the territory won as the Porsche could only take 1 at a time.

The show is a mockery of all proper motoring shows and the only reason I watched it was for the Dutton rally as one of the guys I know competed in his VW beetle and another I know in his hot VW Polo GTI with killer HP. Saw a few small clips of them in the footage!!

Posted

The BBC throws millions at Top Gear, I wish one of the Aussie networks could afford to do the same. Jeremy Clarkson is a nob but he gives the cars a proper rogering and speaks his mind without giving two ****s about advertising or sponsorship bull****.

If we could find someone similarly opinionated here (I'll volunteer if nobody else does) and get someone like the ABC to cough up enough dosh + a primetime slot, we could be on a winner too. Instead we have Glenn Ridge and Fairfax who don't have the balls to stand up to local manufacturers.

Posted (edited)

We will never get a proper motoring show because that encourages hooning :rolleyes: As for JC, the car companies don't mind what he says becase no one listens to his ranting anyway.

I call shot gun on being the Hammond equivalent.

Edited by SuperDave
Posted

Ch9 have put on the crap again on sunday.."Test Drive" its just more of the same ****

Posted

If you were home on saturday, we shouldve done something :P

That show has been around for a while....it has always been out of date anyways.

Posted
Last week they did a comaprison between a Ford Territory turbo and a Porsche 911 to compare the 2 as Ford's ad suggests it eats sports cars. The comparison was so one sided it wasn't funny and the comaprison tests were ridiculous. Reverse park... the Ford has camera's and the bloke who drove the Porsche really cannot drive and ham it up badly. The bread and milk run to the shop was another and the reporter tool in the Territory went to the shop and chose to go down some small lane way that was basically cobblestones and the guy in the Porshce had to drive so slow cause it was so rough.(It might have been Parramatta RD LOL) Again another poor example. This one was the worst..... pick up some friends(4) so again the territory won as the Porsche could only take 1 at a time.

lmao... They should've also done the blowjob test... Atleast the Porsche would've gotten some points...

Posted
Right well it's not often I'm home on a Saturday, but I flicked the telly on and Channel 9's The Car Show hosted by Glenn Ridge appeared and I began watching. Couldn't believe my eyes... Has anyone seen the Top Gear episode where Clarkson drives the Boxter convertible and the Merc convertible through the British army's training facility, noting how many times he gets "shot" by real-life snipers hiding around the course? It's a good segment and he punishes the cars so hard, sliding them and lighting up the rears. Well The Car Show attempted a SHAMELESS reproduction of this, it was a friggin joke, here's the scenario:

Driver: Young female blonde journalist whom I've never sighted before

Car: New Golf R32 fitted with laser sensors

Course: Some paintball centre with a 3.4km dirt road around a small mountain

Snipers: Bunch of nerds who work at the paintball centre with laser guns

Deary deary me, it was the single worst piece of motoring journalism I have ever witnessed, I was embarrassed to be a car enthusiast. She began driving, and I swear she didn't top 60km/hr nor change above 2nd gear, all you could hear was just the car revving at about 6000RPM all the way around the course as she took corner after corner at 40km/hr saying "Geez this exhaust is loud", and going through a few dirty puddles. Meanwhile, the nerds were in their cammo gear complete with dodgy war paint and bandanas, running up the mountain trying to shoot the car. It was so plainly obvious that the game didn't take place in real time, every corner she went around you heard her squeal because one of the nerds, strategically placed by the camera crew no-doubt, was shooting his little laser at her - it was as if they filmed every corner seperately and found a perfect place for the nerd to be hiding. When she reached the top of the mountain to capture the flag, somehow all of the nerds had beaten her there and all shot her at once. She squealed and they squealed and I p!ssed myself laughing saying OMG you are ghey...

So yeah, the end of the segment came, and her conclusion was that she liked the car, but wouldn't pay $55,000 for one - fair call I guess, that's Evo money, but she barely even drove the thing! Then it cut back to Glenn Ridge and their "Hot Hatch Temperature Gauge" appeared on screen. Possibly the gheyest part, Ridge says: "On the Hot Hatch Temperature Gauge, we rate the VW Golf R32 at 80 degrees..." WTF??? 80 degrees?? What measure is that? 80 degrees out of what? 100? Compared to what??? It was a deadset joke.

Moral of the story: do not watch this show.

Saw that bit actually! (yeah Ive seen the one in TOP GEAR) AND YES IT WAS SUCKS!!! She doesn't give an accurate review about the car! it was all about RECKLESS DRIVING!! Last year "THE CAR SHOW" WAS WAY N MUCH BETTER!!

Posted
Last week they did a comaprison between a Ford Territory turbo and a Porsche 911 to compare the 2 as Ford's ad suggests it eats sports cars. The comparison was so one sided it wasn't funny and the comaprison tests were ridiculous. Reverse park... the Ford has camera's and the bloke who drove the Porsche really cannot drive and ham it up badly. The bread and milk run to the shop was another and the reporter tool in the Territory went to the shop and chose to go down some small lane way that was basically cobblestones and the guy in the Porshce had to drive so slow cause it was so rough.(It might have been Parramatta RD LOL) Again another poor example. This one was the worst..... pick up some friends(4) so again the territory won as the Porsche could only take 1 at a time.

DUDE WTF... I can't believe that! It just fires me up EVEN MORE! I've always hated that ad, "Eats sports cars for breakfast" - I reckon you could beat one in my car. All these bloody journo's like the ones in Wheels and Motor who bow down to Aussie cars, seriously, it's a joke, they must have some deal with Ford and Holden

We will never get a proper motoring show because that encourages hooning :rolleyes: As for JC, the car companies don't mind what he says becase no one listens to his ranting anyway.

I call shot gun on being the Hammond equivalent.

Yeah just like we'll never get proper performance cars built here :P

Pretty sure JC was born out of old money anyways, I don't think anyone wants to argue with him lol.

Oh P.S. I'll jenkins you for the Hammond role, I'm pretty short :lol:

Posted (edited)

Okay.... I'll be JC, we've got a fight over Hammond, and my mate has offered his video camera + the carpark out the back of his place as a "test track".

Who has a boofy enough haircut to be Captain Slow?

EDIT: Damn, we also need a Top Gear Dog

Edited by Tats
Posted
We will never get a proper motoring show because that encourages hooning :rolleyes: As for JC, the car companies don't mind what he says becase no one listens to his ranting anyway.

I call shot gun on being the Hammond equivalent.

Oh P.S. I'll jenkins you for the Hammond role, I'm pretty short :lol:

I may not of had my teeth whitened but I am more dreamy then him :whistling:

Posted

As if the Hammond role would ever go to a blood-nut :P

which counts both you goons out... that role is mine people :P

Posted

In that case I'll be "The Aussie Stig" but it will be totally like last Mondays show.

The car into the tyre barrier every time.

Anyone putting their hand up to be the Fat Stig (like in the Top Gear America show in Alabama)

Posted

I watched it as well and was thinking wtf ... trying to copy the episode where Top Gear were at an ex military site and trying to outrun the snipers etc.

Give them credit for the effort .. but 0 for execution !

HAHAHA love your report mate .. very funny !!!

Posted
In that case I'll be "The Aussie Stig" but it will be totally like last Mondays show.

The car into the tyre barrier every time.

Anyone putting their hand up to be the Fat Stig (like in the Top Gear America show in Alabama)

I nominate Northy!!!! If something can break he'll break it :toast::toast::toast:

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