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CORZZA

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Posts posted by CORZZA

    The current ride

    in Members Rides

    JOKES !!!!

    in Club Lounge

    Posted

    On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.

    The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

    When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

    St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.

    The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'

    After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

    'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

    'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

    St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

    'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.

    'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!

    JOKES !!!!

    in Club Lounge

    Posted

    Eight Words with two Meanings

    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

    Female...... Any part under a car's hood.

    Male... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

    Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

    Male.... Playing football without a cup.

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

    Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

    Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

    Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.

    Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

    Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.

    Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

    Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

    Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding..

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

    Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

    Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

    Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

    Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

    • Like 1

    JOKES !!!!

    in Club Lounge

    Posted

    A young 7 year boy goes up to his father and asks him, 'Dad, what is the difference between "potentially" & "realistically"?'

    He thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

    Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

    So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

    The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

    The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

    The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

    The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

    'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'

    The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

    His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

    The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars ...

    But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a queer.

    JOKES !!!!

    in Club Lounge

    Posted

    Golfing Hit Man

    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, " D o you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

    "Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

    So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

    Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

    "I'm a hit man," was the reply.

    "You're joking!" was the response.

    "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

    "Here are my tools."

    "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

    So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

    "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window."

    "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her..... He's naked, too!!!"

    He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

    "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

    "Can you do two for me now?"

    "Sure, what do you want?"

    "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

    "Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his ***** off to teach him a lesson."

    The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

    "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

    "Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."

    JOKES !!!!

    in Club Lounge

    Posted

    A Lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

    The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

    So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

    The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

    The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.

    This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"

    The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

    Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

    The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

    He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

    He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

    The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

    The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

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