CORZZA

Teacher: - what's wrong? Johnny our house is very small. Me, my mum, my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, 'Johnny r u sleeping?' Then I say No & then he slaps my face & gives me a Black eye" Teacher:- 2nite when ur dad asks again, keep dead quiet & don't answer. The following morning Johnny comes back with a severe black eye again. Teacher:- My goodness why the black eye again? Johnny:- Dad asked me again, Johnny äre u sleeping? & I shut up & kept dead still. Then my dad & my mom started moving, u know, at the same time Mum was breathing eratically, kicking her legs up frantically & squealing like a hyena on the bed. Then my dad asked my mum, R u coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming too? Dad answered:- Yes. They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said “wait for me, I'm also coming!”

THE IRISH PROSTITUTE. An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us ? not even a line. Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?". The girl, crying, replied, Sniff, sniff...."Daddy. ...I became a prostitute..." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to any Catholic family, so yer are." "OK, Daddy-- as ye wish. I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur coat, title deeds to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million cheque..For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club......... .................. (takes a breath)..... ........ and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Caribbean and... ." "Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad. Girl, crying again, Sniff, sniff...."A prostitute Daddy!" Sniff, sniff. "Oh! Be Jeysus! Ye scared me half to death girl! I thought ye said a PROTESTANT. Come here and give yer old Daddy a big hug."

A man goes into Dymocks and asks the young female clerk, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises? I can't remember the title." She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." The man said, "That's the one. I'll take a copy."

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbors' male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "It just worked for me," he replied.

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

New COLD PLAY album

Good stuff Billy Bob! You box has had a hard life and deserves a bit of love!

Tasteful mods!

Spotted Xoom on epping road on monday afternoon I think

Welcome mate! Great colour choice!

They are a good bad. I have come to like them a lot. At the moment im listening to Example - Kick Starts

Sad to see such a great man go! No one can beat the big "C" even if you have billions.

Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks

Welcome to the forums!

Yip I know. You are selling used items with minor damage. You are not always going to get the price you want This package new can be bought for less than your advertised price hense my offer. Good luck with the sale.

$1000 cash!

Hey Mate What stud pattern are they? Do they have 5X114.3?

Hey bra! They also 5 X 114.3?

Geez sorry for not getting back to you in a while. These still for sale? Are you driving on them at the moment or are they off the car? Cheers Pete

Well il be out again soon. Il come havea chat if your there

I was impressed mate. You were showing the Honda boys how it was done. I was there in my mates Silver Evo X. He just had a tune done and we were tesing it out. Constant 12.2's. He is hitting limp mode at just before 1/4 mile. I think its fuel related. Let us know when you next out there. Il come and have a chat. Seeing your stivo there makes me miss mine soooo much!

Spotted red prefacelift at Eastern Creek drags last night

So that means they fit? Ok I just need to arrange a time to inspect them

If the stud pattern fits the current shape Lancer I am very interested

I dont mind them. They pretty cool looking. Pitty its an auto though