ANATOMY: Zack "So what the heck is going on in there?" Bauer
Performed at 9:46pm EST, Tuesday 29 May
1. It is evident that this would be the most active part of the brain in terms of memory and recall (not that the frontal lobes are evident here, the key portion of the brain that is most dependent on said memory). There is a noticeable lack of body on the top part of this section, most identifiable as a slight dip or 'ditch'. From looking at this we can see that a mass loss of memory and lack of recall would be quite prominent in this individual (ie: forgetting that they make claims which later prove to be false and place them in a questionable position, only to make the matter worse by streaming more 'bull5hit').
2. The thought processing centre of the brain. Although clearly dormant and devoid of any neural activity, it was discovered that there were in fact large brown 'cable' like anomalies present in further neroscans. These 'large brown cable' like anomalies are extremely similar to objects appearing from a dogs rear end. This finding was rather astounding nonetheless and we are still running tests to verify how the individual comes to form thought processes...if any.
3. The lower portion of the brain in this instance is the main storage point of aggression. The notable high neural activity here contrasts with that of aspect number two. This is a trait very similar to the promagnon man or 'cave man' which occupied earth many thousands of years ago. Rather simple analysis here so we shall continue.
4. This portion is usually reserved for emotions such as 'saddness' or 'love' etc. Once again this area was nil of any activity at all. Analysis on this aspect was withdrawn due to the poor findings and lack of neural data to work with.
Conclusion:
From assessing Zack we found the following results as listed below:
1. He's a f**kwit...
/end