mtbrider

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know that they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him

for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says:

"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies:

"Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies:

"In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin:

"Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies:

"Our allowance .. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about

60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this.

He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says:

"Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you.

What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little $hit is adorable

A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so

she placed an ad, which read something like this:

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE -

NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS:

1) WON'T BEAT ME UP

2) WON'T RUN AWAY

3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was

ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail.

None seemed to match her qualifications. Then one day the doorbell rang

yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs

lying on the welcome mat.

Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?"

"Hi," he said, " your search is over, for I'm the man of your dreams.

I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away."

"Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that you're so great in bed?"

To which he replied "Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.

"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree makea nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere a you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99 ?"

"Each of da trees isa dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, And dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga came along and crapa by eacha tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, datsa makea one hundred.

Spotted Red unbadged Sportivo CES twin outlet pipe dark wheels.

He gave it a bit of a blast down Rochedale Rd

Personalised plates Plates TR_ _7

Who was that ?

I was in the Silver Sportivo infront then behind

Start with the real thing and work backwards erasing it. Play tape forward. Hey presto the Mona Lisa.

Homer and Bart - You don't make friends with salad

Semi professional mountain bike racer (I wish)

pool man

ironing service

domestic duties

house cleaner

maintenance man

child maintenance

My wife does not agree with any of the above except the 1st one

Accountant but never used it other than banking

Bit like the Pakistan cricket team they have given up cricket and have taken up Bob Slaying.

That topic name sounded rude. Turned out to be nuthing

http://www.ripit4me.org/

Sorry this is the correct site.

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond.

"They're watch dogs!"

Glad to help. Good to see O'Briens still do it but they have obviously cottoned on to the price. I think I only paid about $10.

I'm surprised this thread is still alive... and more surprised that Mods are promoting illegal DVD piracy.

True enough.

But if you are making a legal backup copyof your own DVD.

Ripit4me.com works (now that new encryption sometimes beats DVD shrink) you still need to run through DVDdecryptor and DVD Shrink.

See the instructions on the ripit4me site.

need a hdmi cable now :D

I thought the PS3 did not have HDMI connection that was one of the things wrong with it (by the critics point of view) as Sony was still fighting with the other movie studios about HDMI intoduction. But realistically have you done some searches on why HDMI is being introduced. Its all a ploy by the big movie studios and is only to stop pirating of movies etc.

Apparently it has an extra wire for a secret signal that if not there gives a crappy picture / sound.

Makes sense how can an iddy little wires in a HDMI cable be better than three large component wires.

Consumer suckers are made to go HDMI and pay a fortune for the privilage.

Seriously do some research.

I had it done once before by one of the windscreen repairers. O'Brien I think.

It was really cheap. Hopefully they still do it - give them a ring.

Don't hold your hopes out on it being $40k for the UK version. Are they sending something cheap and nasty here?. This was only reported mid February.

Read this

"One Honda insider revealed to GoAuto

that a fully loaded British-built Civic i-Shift

hatchback could nudge $70,000 by the time

it lands in Australia, effectively rendering it

unsaleable.

However, this does not necessarily mean

that a Civic hatchback will not be offered over

the next two years.

According to Honda Australia managing

director and CEO Toshio Iwamoto, the threedoor

Civic Type-R might be released in

Australia, as a limited-volume sports hatch.

The Type-R uses a 2.0-litre i-VTEC engine

that produces 147kW at 7800rpm and 192Nm

at 5600rpm.

The Civic Type-R would occupy the same

sector that the cult 1999 Integra Type R

abandoned in 2001."

Thanks for the photos.

I don't think it looks too bad at all. If it had a decent motor like our sportivos I would be in for a new one.

Hopefully they put it out with the V6 Aurion / Lexus motor.

Not bad for a Honda Jazz.

Yes it is built on the Jazz platform.

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,

"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,

"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

I'll be going on Saturday. If it's there I'll take some pics.

I read in Mellors it was there . That's why I put up the post. Pity it was not available for the recent Brissy show.

TOYOTA has given its redesigned Corolla its first public outing Down

Under, with the all-new version of Australia’s most popular small car

taking centre stage at this morning’s Melbourne motor show opening

Have any of you Melburnians been to see the new Corolla yet.

Post up some pics and thoughts on it

Fortune Cookies that never made it....

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok .

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ar$e should not bite fingernails

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Bit hard to believe it was only doing 55 kph

I did agree with you and now I don't.

I have changed all my bulbs in my house to compact fluoro and can not be happier.

I have a lot of lights and the kids leave them on all the time.

The bulbs are more expensive but getting cheaper all the time to the point where you can now buy them at crazy clarks (junk style shop) pretty cheap.

With there long life and with the price of electricity going up they will pay for themselves quickly.

I put in 3 airconditioners (Panasonic inverters) and changed all the light bulbs - net effect no change in my electricity bill.

There are lots of new sizes now and you can get them for downlights (those that are not halogen).

Nice houses in the background. Is the area a bit like the Hope Island / Sanctuary Cove of SA.

PS the cars OK as well