King of the Hill

[Azza]

Why do men's hearts beat quicker, go weak in the knees, get dryÿthroats and think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing?

BECAUSE IT MAKES HER SMELL LIKE A NEW UTE !!!

Yes - King twice in a row!!!!

[Saiya]

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

[MRROLA]

In an average lifetime, people spend four years traveling in cars and six months waiting for red light to turn green.

[Azza]

Top Ten Thoughts to Ponder:

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

[Saiya]

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

[Azza]

Number 9 Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

[MRROLA]

What am i gonna get for lunch?

[Azza]

Number 8 Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a

sandwich!

[MRROLA]

Oh! Lunch is over... dinner?

[Azza]

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person

to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky..... not really good for anything,

but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals

Dying of nothing.

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no

attention to criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and

a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the

world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

[MRROLA]

I'll have ham and cheese!

[Phat]

so many jokes and facts!

ill give u 1.

fact - i was once a surfboard

joke - i am the joke

[Azza]

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 : We know exactly where one cow with

mad cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows

in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal

immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department

of Agriculture in charge of immigration

[MRROLA]

This is a real mole!

[Azza]

Have we done enough page smashing

[MRROLA]

I'm pretty impressed!

Well done Azza, x_tarcy33, Saiya, tats!

Edited September 29, 2006 by MRROLA

[Azza]

Yeah, well done fellas, its amazing how much useless tripe we can come up with when we are bored.... LOL

[MRROLA]

Hey Dan (flynsx)!

Edited September 29, 2006 by MRROLA

[Phat]

keep it goin!!! im only here 2 kill time haha

[dimmy77_03]

if you want radnom funny things check out http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/international/australia/

And other laws around the world ;)

[MRROLA]

Post them Dimmy, Post them........

[Azza]

Post them Dimmy, Post them........

You just scraped your 5 words there :P

[dimmy77_03]

These are just for Australia but there are also other for other countries and most states of USA :P

A life sentence is 25 years.

Children may not purchase cigarettes, but they may smoke them.

You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.

It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burgular.

It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.

Under Australian Communications Authority (ACA) regulations, a modem can't pick up on the first ring.

Taxi cabs are required to carry a bale of hay in the trunk.

Bars are required to stable, water and feed the horses of their patrons.

The legal age for straight sex is 16, unless the person is in the care/custody of the older person, in which case it is 18.

Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb.

It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday.

You must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.

Until the Port Arthur Killings it was legal to own an AK-47 but not legal to be gay.

Lawmakers are proposing a new law that will not allow anyone to come closer than 100 meters from a dead whale's carcass.

Edited September 29, 2006 by dimmy77_03

[Phat]

"It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burgular."

BWAHAHAHAHA

[Azza]

Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb.

Except in Queensland Government where they are a) too stoopid and B) too scared of falling off a the ladder...