ACURA: Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile Asia's Curse Upon Rural America AUDI: Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Automobile Under Demonic Influence Another Ugly Deutsche Invention Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster Bimbette Motor Weapon Break My Window BUICK: Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King Brings Me Women but Broke My Wallet CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques DODGE: Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater Dead Old Dog Going East Dead On Day Guarantee Expires Dead On Delivery, Go Easy Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive FIAT: Failed Italian Automotive Technology Fix It Again, Tony! Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation Fix It All the Time FORD: Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road Dead Fast Only Rolling Downhill First On Recall Day Fabricated Of Refried Dung Fails On Rainy Days Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream Fault Of R&D Finally Obsolete Racing Device First On Road to Dump First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Recycle Dilemma Flipping Over Results in Death Flipped Over Roadside Disaster Follow Our Rusty Dogsled Foot On Road Decelerates Forced On Reluctant Drivers Formed Of Rejected DNA Forwarded Once; Return Denied Forward Only; Reverse Defective Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin Fork Over Repair Dough Fouled Out Re-done Dodge Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration Free Or Reduced Drastically Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable Funny Old Rattling Dump (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot Factory Ordered Road Disaster Forget On Race Day Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun) Flip Over Read Directions Four Old Rusted Doors Fixed On Race Day Fought Off Recall Demands Found On Road Dying First On Rust Development Fork Over Repair Dough Founded On Reservation Dump Ford Owner Really Dumb Fumes and Oders Readily Detectable Found On Rubbish Dump Frequent Overhall, Rapid Deterioration Fix Or Repair Dilemma Flintstone Or Rubble Driven Failure Of Reasearch and Development Forced On Reluctant Drivers Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed Fails On Rainy Days First On Road to Dump For Old Retired Dudes Found On Roadside Dump For Only Retarded Drivers Ford Owners Recommend Dodge Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy Found On Russian Dump For Off Road Death it Freaking Only Runs Downhill Fat Old Rusted Dog Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun) Frigin Oakies Really Dig it Funky Old Road Dog Found on Road Ditches Fails On Rainy Day Found Only 'Round' Dumps Found On Repairshop Driveway Forged Out of Recycled Dumpsters Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge Found Old Rebuilt Dodge Found On Railroad Dead Found On Railroad Deserted Forget OutRunning Dale Fools Only Read Directions Full Of Repairs & Damages GM: General Maintenance Great Mistake Garbage Motors Generally Miserable Grossly Misconceived Gluteus Maximus GMC: Garage Man's Companion Gotta Mechanic Coming? Generally Mediocre Cars Get More Chicks Gets Mechanics Crazy Gods Mechanical Curse Got More Crap Great Mountain Climber Great Motor Car GTO Gas, Tires, Oil HONDA: Had One Never Did Again Hang On, Not Done Accelerating Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive... JEEP: Just Eats Every Part Junk Engineering Executed Poorly Just Empty Every Pocket MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along MG Money Guzzler MGB Might Go Backwards MGF Might Go Forward MIATA My Intention: Always To Accelerate MUSTANG Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good PONTIAC Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac PORSCHE Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything SAAB: Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown Sad Attempt At Beauty Sorry Auto, Always Broken Shape Appears A s s-Backwards Sorry A r s e d Auto Builders SUBARU Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually TOYOTA: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto Torturous On Your Old Tired A s s The One You Ought To Avoid Too Often, Young Owners Tackily Accessorize VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners VW Virtually Worthless