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Posted

Met an 'associate' I havent seen in such a long time,new missus,looking all nice & cosmopolitan Ang & Brad <_< ,Sez 'heard u drive a corolla mate Isnt that a girlies car?'shouldnt u buy a v8 or something?? (WAAAHH punch in the guts) then the whore from hell goes 'Not even a respectable girl would drive a corolla I'de rather drive a 'lancer' OR (get this) I like the look of the Tiida?? :blink: :blink:What lancer wtf Tiida??? WTF....silence....(then) poke in eyes,scratch scratch scratch,punch in the epididmus,another shot in the ovaries,handful of hair,knee in the nostril,WHAT WAS THAT DUDE & COW?? WHAT kick kick ..........ok ok ok im ok now.................kick kick..bitches

Lancers & Tiidas...get u hurt...(FYI the fight scene was in my head ok??)

ha ha ha ha, Can anyone say T0SSERS! :clap: :P :D

She just owned herself by saying that - Lancer and Tiida

Carlo for PM! :lol:

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Posted

I've discovered a phenominon....

Indicators and giving way doesn't seem to exist in Toorak and Armadale??? Especially with European vehicles.

See for yourself...

WTF!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Airport Security Staff !!!!!

From time to time I have to fly Melb - Syd and back for work, recently I flown 3 times in the last 3 months. On every occassion Both at the Melbourne side and Sydney side (So that's six times in total), I've been stopped and checked for a 'Random' Explosive substance check!!!!!!

Now once is ok but every freakin time!

Now I am of Italian background. Yes, I do have an olive/tanned complexion and dark hair. My work attire is a nicely pressed Suit and Tie. Do I really look like I want to bring a freakin plane down with a Guess Brief Case!!!!!

I'm seriously just being targeted because I look like I may be of Middle Eastern Background. So wrong!

heh

Scene: Melbourne airport

Star: Me, sporting a beard with pasty skin adjacently because i had the flu

Reason: Wishing my best a safe trip

Offending object: My friggin keys!!!!

So it's a big, nasty looking key! My pen is more dangerous.

So, a premature goodbye hug and kiss in front of the security staff, and then i was escorted out of the airport.


Posted

Ultimate hack:

I hate people driving in front of me. Can't stand 'em. Need to get them behind me.

An open road in front of me is a good road.

Anyone want to cruise with me from Albury to Perth (or at any points in between)? Nice open road - as long as you're behind me!

Posted

The bADbOYz 'Failure to provide sufficient documentation kit' for recruitment processes:

Contents of kit:

- Ballpane Hammer

- Instructions

Instructions read as follow:

1. Open contents of kit and place hammer at which ever hand is most dominant.

2. Grasp hammer firmly and prep the hammer by extending out your arm.

3. Close your eyes.

4. Proceed to smash self in head with ballpane hammer until a subtle darkness begins to take over with eyesight.

5. Prior to feinting or dying from a brain hemorrhage speak the following words 10 times:

"I am a spastic blind artard with the brain capacity of a micron."

6. If still concious phone ambulance.

End.

Posted

The bADbOYz 'Failure to provide sufficient documentation kit' for recruitment processes:

Contents of kit:

- Ballpane Hammer

- Instructions

Instructions read as follow:

1. Open contents of kit and place hammer at which ever hand is most dominant.

2. Grasp hammer firmly and prep the hammer by extending out your arm.

3. Close your eyes.

4. Proceed to smash self in head with ballpane hammer until a subtle darkness begins to take over with eyesight.

5. Prior to feinting or dying from a brain hemorrhage speak the following words 10 times:

"I am a spastic blind artard with the brain capacity of a micron."

6. If still concious phone ambulance.

End.

lol, reminds me of that simpsons movie trailer :D

Hate it when you have sex and i can't even finish. :(

  • 2 months later...
Posted
I hate people driving in front of me. Can't stand 'em. Need to get them behind me.

I am the same, even if they aren't going slow, just hate having to stare at someone elses ***** for the whole trip.

Posted

Me n the missus driving down Riverton,an dis hotted up Honda Civic wif all da 'Mugen powered'stickers plastered all over it,On seventeens with the biggest & loudest fartbox ever lined up with me at the lights,Dis boy with dreadlocks(head band included) & Craig David facial hair looked at me like I was short or something,I was like :whistling: he was like :spiteful: He did the ***** poor (& loudest) launch Ive ever seen a car do,(seen Camiras take off faster than that) :rolleyes: & proceeded to wave to me as he 'conquered the rolla' well...........Just my luck i had to line with him @ the next lights,MY wife was giving me the eyeball ,yknow 'dont u dare take that boy on look' I revved the lad saying it was on,he got ready looking all F1 @ the lights ...on the mark...vrom vroom vroom datatatattaa squeak...........He got done by the freeway coppers up the road as i (slowly) turned into to my street ..Double demerit weekend..Hell no

Too olde for this ****,Too smart to race in the streets..esp with Idiots with overdone Cars .I am a Corolla owner hear me RAWR

  • 1 month later...
Posted

i'm bumping this for ppl who have some stress and need to release it.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Posted
skylines luv to be chopped, is it me or have they got slow?

Not too sure, but a guy in a Skyline was playing silly buggers with me on the way home from work last night. Windows down, music blaring. Copping greasys from his gf. Speeding up and slowing down level with me. I slowed down a bit, dropped it into 2nd and crept up level. Now I should point out that micky_tee installed a trd intake on the weekend. 5,900 rpm ... 6,000rpm ... I punched it.

I then saw the immediate flinching and discomfort of the Skyline owners gf. Most likely she went deaf for a bit afterwards...haw haw.

Moral is:

A 2zz-ge with an intake hitting the hi-cam > a doof doof stereo.

Posted (edited)

People who upload porn torrents and label them as "teen" but forget to mention its of the oral genre, I WANT HARDCORE!!! & my 800meg back u bloody poonce >:(

Edited by Simo
Posted

That's what you get for looking up porn with Gretel Kileen in it!

Posted
That's what you get for looking up porn with Gretel Kileen in it!

Yeh, but i cant stand watching home and away when i eat dinner anymore...

Posted

Speaking of eating while watching Simo:

Last year the gf (@ the time) and myself were watching land of the dead. I was eating a meat lovers pizza while watching it with her lol. I've never seen her so disgusted before, "That guy just had his lip pulled over his head and his torso ripped apart, and you're just sitting there eating like a pig!? You are disgusting...".

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