Workplace (mental) Health ...

[Buddha]

Does anyone else here work with a know-it-all like I do? I work with a fella who dreams of owning the world's best Skyline (no offence to other Skyline owners) and sprouts on about what he knows about cars, but hasn't really got a clue about anything mechanical. Here is a conversation I had with him today after he had seen a pic of my wagon:

Knuckle Head: Ah, so you've put a sports exhaust on it, hey?

Me: No, its just a chrome tip.

KH: Oh yeah, cool. How much power did you pick up?

Me: None, its just a tip.

KH: So you just wanted it louder?

Me: No, KH, it is only a tip, purely cosmetic, no performance gain, negligible to no change to noise.

KH: Nah, you'd have to pick up 5 or 10 kW on that, easy.

I had to leave the conversation at this point, as I'm sure my brain was shrinking just talking to this guy!

Can other posters share stories about knuckle head workmates/friends/relatives so I don't feel so alone? :(

[Azza]

This is how you should have had the conversation....

Knuckle Head: Ah, so you've put a sports exhaust on it, hey?

Buddha: No, its just a chrome tip.

KH: Oh yeah, cool. How much power did you pick up?

Buddha: None, its just a tip.

KH: So you just wanted it louder?

Buddha: No, KH, it is only a tip, purely cosmetic, no performance gain, negligible to no change to noise.

KH: Nah, you'd have to pick up 5 or 10 kW on that, easy.

Buddha: OK KH, you got me, it also acts as a Dildo.

KH: A What??? Your kidding me???

Buddha: Nah man! And if you try and tell me once more that it should be giving me power, then I'll have to shove it up your woohoo....

[Buddha]

As much fun as that would be, we have a thing at work called Equity and Diversity, basically it means you have to speak nothing but the Queen's English 24/7 and even then you may not be safe if someone in the office is offended by the Queen. :(

Having said that, there are a number of other staff that would like to shove things up KH's woohoo ...

[Azza]

Sounds like you work in the Public Service Buddha.....if so, you need to get your woohoo over to my section of the public service. In the office I work in, you are outkasted if you do not CONSISTANTLY use offensive language and behaviour.

Infact, I think our office's morning prayer uses atleast 3 of the big 4 :0 :0

[Danthuyer]

Buddha - you should also mention that front grille you got from me thats good for 10-15kW :P

Edited January 4, 2005 by Danthuyer

[CAP]

I hear knuckle heads all the time, just read the bottom of my signature

[Azza]

Buddha - you should also mention that front grille you got from me thats good for 10-15kW :P

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If thats the case Craig, then his alloy wheels would have to give him a couple extra kW ATW at least....

Hey Buddha, tell him that wagon goes faster cause it doesn't have a boot....

[Matthew_McNally]

guys - we've got kids in the UK who actually believe that sort of rubbish

[Chappers]

guys - we've got kids in the UK who actually believe that sort of rubbish

←

It's true.. Expecting gains of 12bhp for an Induction kit.. (car is standard at 80bhp).

[GIDDLEPIN]

Good job you haven't got a Ferrari key ring Buddha.

They're good for at least another 20 kW! ;)

[xoom]

If you get a TRD fuel cap and oil cap im sure you should also be able to shave at least a second if not 2 off your 1/4 mile time ;) ;)

oh oh oh n dont forget the TRD stickers n then for sure u'll get sub 13's ;) ;) :P :P

Edited January 5, 2005 by xoom

[Chappers]

<----- Pity it's not Red, that would be another second gained :D

[Buddha]

Bulk reply!

Danthuyer ... I'm sure I could convince him that the Sportivo grille has more, not to mention more aerodynamically-shaped, holes over the Conquest grille, so your estimates might be a bit conservative!

Afyfe ... I think you'll find the wagon will be faster through corners, with it having a longer roof and therefore more downforce at the rear! Having said that, though, the Sportivo has 16" alloys versus the Conquest's 15's, so the Sportivo is more "fully sik" and as we all know, "fully sik" is much quicker than "not quite as sik, but still pretty sik"! Although, life has taught me that sik is in the eye of the beholder!

Xoom, Giddlepin & Chappers ... while your suggestions are worthy, I think their immense costs far outweigh the performance benefits! :P All I really need is to duck down to the exhaust guy and have him weld a few more tips under the car, and I'll have you all shaking in your boots!

Okay, enough of trying to make Knuckle Head look even more foolish than he is ... everyone back to the serious conversations! B)