I ran 235/35/r19 with lowered suspension on my 2011. Only scrubbed on the rears when I put 20mm spacers on. Apart from that never a drama even with heavy loaf
Insurance companies define a write off as "the repairs being worth more then half the value of the car". Your car could very much be fixable but insurance would rather write it off.
The Parkers come on because the sensor is telling it that it's dark enough to have the Parkers on but not low beams. If you left it on auto it would eventually turn the low beams on.