Celica Bible

[KIRIUS]

Saw this on another forum and thought it was gold!

No idea how old it is but i thought i'd share the laugh.

Celica Bible

________________________________________

1) Thou shall not ask about converting your Celica to AWD or RWD.

2) Thou shall not think about putting a Supra, Skyline, or 7th gen engine into its engine bay.

3) Thou shalt swap in a 3SGTE if you have a 5SFE, and thou shalt drop in a 4AG(Z)E if thou hadst a 4AFE.

4) Thou shalt not put 19-inch rims on thine Celica.

5) Thou shalt not have any luck finding Altezza lights for your Celica.

6) Thou shalt not drift thine Celica, if thou feel the needst to drift, use the trays.

7) Thou shalt not bear false witness to thine Celica beating cars/scooters/mopeds that are clearly slower.

8 ) Thou shalt not desecrate the form of the Celica with body kits named after Sith Lords.

9) Thou shalt changeth thine oil now and again, and thee and thine will be blessed with 200k+ miles.

10) Thou shalt not purchase chips/turbos/tornados that retail on ebay for under $15.

11) Thou shall not short shift, double-clutch, nor overrev whilst racing thine celica. (Thou SHALL brake trail, heel-

toe, and rev-match)

12) Thou shall not consider taking thine car to Maaco, nor consider external/interior paint schemes involving puke purple, diarheal orange, influencial yellow, nor any other colors of questionable taste.

13) Thou shalt not overwhelm any celica with sickers, unless actually sponsored, in hopes of power gains/pussy.

14) Thou shall not pretend to shift in a celica w/ an automatic transmission

15) Thou shalt be limited to one tachometer in thine Celica, not to exceed 7 inches in diameter.

16) Thou shall not mount any spoiler or wing which resembles a parkbench/surfboard/modern art exhibit.

17) Thou shalt not seek straight-line acceleration, worship the twisties.

18 ) Thou shall keep thine chariot free from vinyl blasphemy, unless thou art seeking red and green CASTROL decals on thine white All-Trac.

19) Thee shall not drink and drive thy Celica, as when thou wreckest a Celica, thy wreck something beautiful.

20) Thou shalt keep thy exterior shiny and waxed, thine interior free of garbage, and thine engine bay well-maintained.

21) Thou will not install any muffler setup with a diameter capable of carnally satisfying an elephant.

22) Thou shalt not place a cone filter inside thine hot engine bay and claim it to be a cold air intake

23) Thou shall strike down with great vengeance, and furious anger, any Honda at every encounter. (this excludes the NSX)

24) Thou shall seek knowledge through the use of the search function and the FAQs

25) Thou shalt never buy an automatic car. period.

26) Thou shalt not damage thy Celica by use of steel ramps

27) Thou shall respect fellow Celica owners and their trim/generation/engine/drivetrain.

[KIRIUS]

:D

im guilty of rules (1),(6), and (8).

hahaha

[trentmeyer23]

and the rest !!!

[Andrew357]

You are the Empress of Last Year

;)

[JDM-GTFour]

I like it.. Im guilty of 18 and 21.. lol thanks for posting that..

[KIRIUS]

You are the Empress of Last Year

;)

??

[jeffy]

i lold at 22 & 23 :P

[WRX_eater]

I'm possibly guilty of 21... I have the HKS Hi Power Silent Exhaust and a full 3" mandrel bent from turbo to match...

[KIRIUS]

hahaha

your going to have to update your sig sooner or later.

[jack_the_lad]

lol, golden!