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Posted (edited)

I've decided to dub the stories 'Craig Wars' following the trials and tribulations of

Epsode 1: 'The Snowflake Menace'

Following titles will read

Episode 2: 'Attack of the Danthuyer'

Episode 3: 'Revenge of the Sportivos'

Episode 4: 'A New 2ZZ-GE'

Episode 5: 'The Toyota Strikes Back'

Episode 6: 'Return of the Corolla'

Episode 1: The Snowflake Menace... read as follows... Cheers to Azza for compiling this...

There once was a fast car with no tyres and no rims and no brakes and no engine. Looked like sh**, runs like sh**, but I traded it in for a Holden Barina.

The Barina has a big turbo unconnected in the boot, and it still pulls 9's to 60 km/h down a hill and is owned by Nino-leb, real top guy.

But I think he needs a smack in the hind-quarters by Danthuyer who once did that to his fat mother twice last week with rubber gloves. He also used a full stop!!

Yes. He Did. Then he looked only to find the rubber gloves had "relations" with his mother because, were actually condoms and well used.

So then Craig wore a dress with no panties and a bra but the wig kept falling off so he stapled it to his ar$e, and then could use it as toilet paper but it got stuck on his dirty right toe nail.

So he bent over and let one rip and fell over and broke his nose and his dirty right toe nail, that he had to wrap in a condom and that’s when he found out that warts warp and transform into an extremely large pimple that bursts all over the for his diarrhoea city and sewage his **** wig and also his jeans fly.

Then poor old Craig started to cry because all the turkey was dry, that's why all bad people die in the fall out of the sky onto the door and say goodbye to a whore who would try to as5 bore and crutch less fly.

I'd like more love from my ugly fat whore whose name's Craig! So I took a baseball bat to Wei's windscreen took a swing at his ding-a-ling, but missed and got his mobile massage table that hadn't been used but still stained with coffee and oil and dirty old man stains.

Oh **** he has 399 posts!!

Which it was several posts ago i think its not nearly enough to score with really hot chicks so instead of scoring with chicks he had a toss over porn but he pulled way too fast and broke it off completely.

But luckily he didn't it was ok so he could go right on dreaming about Hondas getting beaten by turbo rotary minis whilst scoring fish fingers covered with apple sauce and lots of gravy, which he spilt all over his leather seats and pink leather trim.

Suddenly along came a tiny little green fluffy maggot infested rat that can't dodge and crawled right up his left nostril and out of his right ear and ended up on dinner plate with side salad.

"Yummm" he shouted as he fell off his high chair into a time warp back to 1768.

His car, lost, and his virginity was miraculously restored.

So without any underwear on he danced a jig in an attempt too woo the flock of sheep like all Aussies that emigrated from England as criminals and whinged incessantly about the weather and the Black Death that struck all of Europe.

But alas, the Kiwi's also had many sheep that feared for their woolly as$es because there was no relief from the relentless pursuit, the kiwi sheepshagger that never stopped touching his tiny little doodle.

So wang, in lust after sheep and also from Gympie watched in horror as he got out the leather IMITATION PLASTIC THING, strapped it to the sheep's ars$ that went BAHHHHH bahh BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oohh a sticky substance a sticky substance his hands too then he said 02rolla's avatar permanently made my weener go ping ping ding - a - ling ringa ding ding bubba bubba boom badda bing badda click goes the sheers and off with his head it was dangling on Danthuyer’s face like his testes in his mouth.

It really hurts when he bites down too hard on his nipple because it's pierced. More piercings are near his groin cause there is a huge boil on his bum that festered severely and farmed fungus for his mum and her friends.

But his sexuality is constantly questioned but he's straight by those who aren't drunk and love rooting animals always show up with a gun packin' heat and a cut lunch with vegemite salada's and orange juice with a slice of low fat cracker barrell cheese all squished into Toystory Lunch Box

Awww how cute to see that he remembers his Mum's massive hooters that lactate freely. Then Sport1vo cried 'That's my mum...' Happy mothers day..

The End

+++++++++++++++++++++++

And here is the list of contributers….

Blue_Stivo

02rolla

Northy

BigBum

BlackRolla

gOODbOYz

xoom

shaohaok

SILVABULLIT

Danthuyer

Skitzo

oz_viking

mtbrider

Azza

Buddha

blue_rolla

eggbert_99

wei wei

KT_haha

Mr Revhead

sport1vo

ZEEROLLA

lucio_libre

Cougs

IZZ-FE

Edited by Blue_Stivo

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Posted (edited)

rolled alone, and

(BTw) - love the first one...hehehe glad i can be the butt of all your crass humour :P

Edited by Danthuyer

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